The plan...

Jeremy and I have been married for six years now (well, on October 25, 2009). Probably the most unique thing about us is that we are the "super planners" of the decade We plan for absolutely EVERYTHING! We never make any quick decisions. For instance, we recently bought a new vehicle after test driving it for over a year! Therefore, it was no surprise to those close to us that we had a clear cut plan in place for how our life would go even six years ago. We would get married, finish school, begin our careers, travel to a few popular vacation destinations, build a house to sell so that we can one day soon build our dream house, and then begin a family. Well, things seemed to be going according to the plan so we couldn't be happier. I graduated from college on May 5, 2007,  and we left the next morning for Walt Disney World (whole new blog because WOW! You haven't lived until you've been to Disney World!) I got my first teaching job two weeks later, we moved into our newly built home 60 days later, and over the next few months traveled to many more vacation destination sites. It seemed there was only one thing left to do: start our family. Little did we know, this would not be an easy task. Without going into the whole very painful journey, let me just say that it seemed that I had a major hormonal imbalance that made it impossible for me to conceive... and the only cure... getting pregnant! Many many months went by and I faced failure day after day after day. In my mind, I had failed as a wife, as a friend, as a daughter, even as a Christian because I was unable to mother. This truly was the most painful time in my life. However, I did know this one truth: 1. God is who he says he is. 2. God can do what he says he can do. So, with the help of my mother and my best friend I began believing God that He was bigger than any label I had been given. I began to wake every morning and go to sleep every night by thanking God for the baby that he had to bless Jeremy and me with. I don't want this to sound as if I was always confident and that my hurt just decided to go away. Believe me, many of these times it was all I could do to pray to God... in fact, many times, in the same breath I would ask God what it was that I could have possibly done that was so wrong. It was a very sad time. We worked with a wonderful doctor (who I'll mention later) and began a very long journey of fertility medications. One year went by before we knew it and we still weren't pregnant so we did what anybody would do... we went on a CRUISE! YEP! We decided that the year had been long, hard, sadder than ANYBODY around us even knew (I put on a very good show), and we were tired. So we called up Royal Caribbean and to the Western Caribbean we went! It was a beautiful trip and we had a ton of fun. We went dancing all night, played the casinos, were waited on hand and foot, laid on beautiful beaches, smelled the wonderful smell of ocean water, and ate fabulous food! That week went by very quickly and far too soon it was time to return to reality (the only thing I've found wrong with vacationing). When we got back, I was very busy planning for the upcoming school year and preparing my classroom. I only had a couple of weeks before school started and I had a ton to do, as all school teachers do two weeks before school begins. I started to feel very tired and just "not right" all the way around but I really chalked it up to all the stress of the upcoming school year and all the work I had been doing to prepare. When school began and I still wasn't feeling well Jeremy insisted that I take a home pregnancy test. I argued with him for a while about it because we had wasted so much money on those stupid things over the course of the last couple of years and the disappointment of a negative pregnancy test time and time again was a constant reminder of what a failure I was. BUT, I agreed to take the test to put his mind at ease. Jeremy bought three tests that night and brought them home. He asked me to wait until first thing in the morning because he heard that the results were most accurate then. However, if you know me, you know that patience is not my strong suite. So I did what any pregnant woman in denial would do and I TOOK THE TEST! ALL THREE OF THEM ACTUALLY! Yep! PREGGO! It was the most beautiful + sign I had ever seen (all three of them LOL)! This began our journey to meeting our angel. Little did we know, the hard part wasn't over... it hadn't even begun. We were about to walk through the most difficult time of our lives, yes even more difficult than infertility.